Victim blaming, scapegoating or whatever anyone wants to
call it is a repugnant hostile, social psychological discrediting calculated routine
by which the perpetrator moves blame and responsibility away from themselves
and towards a target person or group. It is also a practice by which anger,
emotions, hostility and accusations are projected onto another. The victim
automatically feels wrongly blamed, criticised, persecuted, offended,
ill-treated but through fear, anxiety, self-blame, low self-esteem and
confidence, depression and a need to “keep
the peace” the victim will not feel able to stand up for his or herself.
The victim will be made to feel ungrateful, selfish and self-centered by their
perpetrator due to grooming through false love, sex, gifts, money, food, drugs,
cigarettes, outings, even a home; the victim will be psychologically messed up
and confused, blame themselves and turn inwards and resort to many unhealthy coping
mechanism to enable them to function and get through the day. Distortion of the
truth is a well-known feature of the perpetrator to the victim.
Transference of responsibility, victim blaming and
scapegoating is always psychologically complex and confusing. The perpetrators
are so clever that they can distort the truth, appear charming to the wider
world and community and will isolate their victim as quickly as possible from
those closest to their victim in order to continue their abuse. Their process
in achieving this will be calculated and coercive as they remain close to the victim’s
friends and family while carefully and coercively isolating their victim in
such a way that the victim often doesn’t even realise what is happening until
much further down the line.
In transference of responsibility, victim blaming or scapegoating,
feelings of guilt, aggression, blame and suffering are transferred away from the
perpetrator so as to fulfill an unconscious drive to resolve or avoid such bad
feelings. This is completed by the displacement of responsibility and blame to
another who serves as the target for blame both for the perpetrator and his
supporters. When we do not take responsibility for ourselves we are unconsciously
choosing to react as a victim but victims that are systematically groomed over long
periods of time are unable to recognise they are victims until much later on;
some do not recognise this ever. To better understand this process research the
Drama Triangle concept - persecutor, rescuer, victim - we get on and off this
triangle regularly throughout our lives but understanding the theory is helpful, (Karpman, 1968).
The perpetrator's drive to displace and transfer
responsibility away from him or herself may not always be experienced with full
consciousness by the perpetrator; this is referred to as self-deception and is one
of the main features of transference and the perpetrator. The victim’s knowledge
that he or she is being blamed, victimized or scapegoated builds slowly and
covertly over long periods of time and accompanies many everyday events. The perpetrators
target experiences exclusion, ostracism and even expulsion from family, friends
and situations and dangerously believes the perpetrators propaganda and takes
on the responsibility and blame which can lead to a lifetime of damage, illnesses,
tumors, depression, cPTSD even heart attack or stroke. The victim will believe
that they are the cause of the problem, behaviour and will believe they must be
a bad person and deserve the perpetrators victim blaming.
Where the process of victim blaming is said to be unconscious
it is more likely to be denied by the perpetrator. In these cases, bad
feelings, such as the perpetrator's own shame and guilt, will also be denied. Transference
of responsibility frees the perpetrator from self-dissatisfaction and his or
her conscience and provides narcissistic gratification to him/her. It enables
the self-righteous discharge of aggression and negative behaviour. Perpetrators
or scapegoaters tend to have extra-punitive characteristics; this is defined as
inflicting punishment or authority on others with the intention of making the
victim complain or whine thus getting the victim into trouble or be punished. It’s
interesting to research Kraupl-Taylor, 1953 writings and work.
Transference or victim blaming is the perpetrator's classic defense
mechanism against unacceptable behaviours and emotions such as aggression, selfishness,
insecurities, hostility and guilt. To use selfish and insecure in one sentence
is the epitome of victim blaming and the perpetrator is both of these to the
point of near psychosis; narcisstic, sociopathic and psychopathic are all conditions
linked to perpetrators of victim blaming and transference of responsibility
within any form of abuse. In a charismatic
blending perpetrators come across as strong, self-assured, savvy and correct
but what they do not want you or anyone else to know is that they are weak and
not able to take knocks in life or the possibility of admitting to a mistake.
They come with no conscience, empathy or compassion.
Melanie Klein states scapegoating is an example of
projective identification, with the primitive intent of splitting: separating
the good from the bad, (S. Scheidlinger, 1982). Another perspective: perpetrators
or scapegoaters are insecure individuals driven by hierarchical motives to
raise their own status by lowering the status of their victim, (C A Carter,
1996).
Mr. or Mrs. Charming will ensure you feel crap about
yourself; will ensure you carry their guilt and shame; will ensure you have no thoughts
of your own; will ensure you are scared for your life; will ensure you have no
confidant; will ensure you give up your career; possibly have many babies so
you can’t work; will ensure you only have pocket money; will ensure you perform
sexual acts for them when they desire it; will criticise you lower your
confidence and self-esteem and of course they will ensure you believe this is
all your fault.
To assist healing and hope affirm daily you are worthy and full
of love; know you are unique and create positive and optimistic thoughts; know
others love you and you are respected and family and friends trust and believe in
you; spoil yourself, get in touch with nature, be creative and gently and over time take responsibility for you and your life NOT your perpetrators. Remember you are strong and have greatness within.
References and Further Reading:http://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2008/06/the-faces-of-victim/
www.karpmandramatriangle.com
http://www.melanie-klein-trust.org.uk/theory
http://www.scapegoat.demon.co.uk/
http://www.havoca.org/survivors/
Agencies for Support:
http://www.napac.org
http://lanternproject.org
http://southmeadproject.org
A Game Free
Life by Stephen Karpman
Without Conscience
by Dr Robert D. Hare31.05.15
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