So don't judge those that cannot forget, don't just those who still get triggered and don't judge me because I get upset sometimes as memories come flooding back. Don't judge my tears as weakness. Praise me for my strength for surviving the abuse and the resilience me and my fellow survivors have dug deep to find in order to make new lives for ourselves. Many have not survived. For many years I had to dig very deep and I know others who have had to dig deeper than me and some who are still digging. Don't judge any of them because until you have walked in our shoes, down our paths, on our journey you have no idea how it feels to live with the memories, triggers and trauma of abuse.
The best thing you can ever do is listen, empathise and believe, sometimes that is all that is needed to release the blackness that hangs over a victim or survivor of abuse. Being believed is the best gift you can ever give a victim of abuse. The justice system often doesn't. Disclosing the most traumatic episode in your life to police, agencies or a therapist and then not being believed, is abuse on top of abuse. And never stay silent, silence is the abusers best friend and by staying silent you are complicit in the abuse. Abusers use fear and abuse of power in the hope that the victim will never tell. It becomes this big dark secret and the elephant in the room. Abusers manipulate those around them into believing they are an eminent individual and no one will ever think or believe they could commit such an insidious crime. This is called The Charming Syndrome. Believe me anyone can be an abuser behind closed doors, abuse does not have to be physical and leave marks, it can be emotional, mental, financial, verbal and much more. Abuse is abuse when there is an imbalance of power; even a bully is an abuser who is abusing their power over another who they consider vulnerable.